[et_pb_section admin_label=\u201dsection\u201d background_image=\u201dhttp:\/\/spiritwithasmile.com\/MS\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/Morning-Meditation.jpg\u201d transparent_background=\u201doff\u201d allow_player_pause=\u201doff\u201d inner_shadow=\u201doff\u201d parallax=\u201doff\u201d parallax_method=\u201doff\u201d custom_padding=\u201d40px|40px\u201d padding_mobile=\u201doff\u201d make_fullwidth=\u201doff\u201d use_custom_width=\u201doff\u201d width_unit=\u201don\u201d make_equal=\u201doff\u201d use_custom_gutter=\u201doff\u201d][et_pb_row admin_label=\u201drow\u201d make_fullwidth=\u201don\u201d use_custom_width=\u201doff\u201d width_unit=\u201doff\u201d custom_width_percent=\u201d82%\u201d use_custom_gutter=\u201doff\u201d padding_mobile=\u201doff\u201d allow_player_pause=\u201doff\u201d parallax=\u201doff\u201d parallax_method=\u201doff\u201d make_equal=\u201doff\u201d column_padding_mobile=\u201don\u201d custom_padding=\u201d30px|30px\u201d][et_pb_column type=\u201d4_4\u2033][et_pb_blurb admin_label=\u201dBlurb\u201d title=\u201dThe Seventh Pathway To Unconditional Love\u201d url_new_window=\u201doff\u201d use_icon=\u201doff\u201d icon_color=\u201d#000066\u2033 use_circle=\u201doff\u201d circle_color=\u201d#000066\u2033 use_circle_border=\u201doff\u201d circle_border_color=\u201d#000066\u2033 icon_placement=\u201dtop\u201d animation=\u201dtop\u201d background_layout=\u201dlight\u201d text_orientation=\u201dleft\u201d use_icon_font_size=\u201doff\u201d use_border_color=\u201doff\u201d border_color=\u201d#ffffff\u201d border_style=\u201dsolid\u201d header_font=\u201dHappy Monkey|on|||\u201d header_font_size=\u201d28\u2033 header_text_color=\u201d#000066\u2033 body_font_size=\u201d18\u2033 header_line_height=\u201d1.4em\u201d body_text_color=\u201d#000066\u2033]<\/p>\n
by Gregg Sanderson<\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n I open myself genuinely to all people by being willing to fully communicate my deepest feelings, since hiding in any degree keeps me stuck in my illusion of separateness from other people.<\/em><\/p>\n * * * * *<\/em><\/p>\n Now just a doggone minute here.\u00a0 Does this mean I go around dumping on my friends and pouring my heart out to strangers?\u00a0 I have enough trouble with my friends when they dump their troubles on me.<\/p>\n No, that is not what it means.\u00a0 Aren\u2019t you relieved?\u00a0 The key words here are \u201c..being willing..\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s for situations like:<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter?\u201d \u2014 \u201cNothing\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAre you OK? \u2014 \u201cI\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n Silence. \u2013 with or without accusing glare.<\/p>\n Situations like this where silence puts up a wall can be a great love extinguisher. That\u2019s one level of separation the Pathway talks about, and that wall is usually built on fear.<\/p>\n Are you afraid of hurt feelings\u2014maybe yours?<\/p>\n Are you afraid of an argument?<\/p>\n Are you afraid it might change things?<\/p>\n Are you afraid to be vulnerable?<\/p>\n Sometimes silence can be a matter of discretion, as in, \u201cDo these jeans make me look fat?\u201d or \u201cHow did you like the casserole?\u201d or \u201cAre you really going to vote for that idiot?\u201d<\/p>\n But when it comes to feelings, discretion is not your friend, and that\u2019s where the Seventh Pathway comes in.<\/p>\n \u201cI open myself genuinely\u2026\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/em>with a clear intent to share what\u2019s going on with me, without trying to manipulate, dominate, or castigate you.<\/p>\n \u201c\u2026by being willing to fully communicate my deepest feelings\u2026\u201d my feelings\u2013not my opinions, judgments, or complaints.<\/p>\n \u201c\u2026since hiding in any degree keeps me stuck\u2026\u201d\u00a0<\/em>and I can\u2019t grow fonder, grow larger, or grow up.<\/p>\n \u201c\u2026in my illusion of separateness from other people.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/em>We call it closeness, oneness, and love.\u00a0 You\u2019re never actually separate, but can create one heck of an illusion if you bury your feelings.<\/p>\n Many say lack of communication is the main problem in relationships. I contend that lack of communication is a symptom of the main problem.\u00a0 What is the main problem?\u00a0 I\u2019m glad you asked.<\/p>\n The main problem in any relationship is to need the other person to be different from the way they are. When you operate from need, you never stop trying and they never change.<\/p>\n When you use the Seventh Pathway, you can communicate your preference and \u201cYes\u201d or \u201cNo\u201d will be an OK answer. Then it\u2019s easy to ask for what you want, because it isn\u2019t backed by fear.<\/p>\n Your deepest feeling is always love, and once you connect with your love, it\u2019s easier to talk about the stuff that gets in the way of it. When you talk from a position of need though, your fears appear real and communication suffers.<\/p>\n The next question to arise is, \u201cHow do I handle it when people share their predicaments, perceptions, or pain with me?\u201d<\/p>\n We have the Eighth Pathway for that.<\/p>\n